I never wanted this grow up. become what they call a m.a.n. chose and decide. so I started out playing games with both, me and them. ?ause everyone? due to keep up with the others. due to find a part to play within that huge comedy or drama. whatever. I?e played them all for years, but all of a sudden, everything changed and I began to fall. the hard and endless fall of someone who had the pleasure to meet self-determinations younger brothers. ahm, let? say self-deception and self-destruction. I got lost after not knowing, after not knowing who I ought to be. I left it all behind, moved houses, changed the city and fell asleep for one and a half yea